The Great Adventure

The One In Light: The Prime Insurgency Series, Volume 1 by J.D. Stonebridge.

First the good news. This is an interesting concept. I was asked to review a book by a fellow indie author, which I agreed to, and ended up reading what amounts to an episode of a series, rather than an actual book. In other words, it’s not really long enough to be considered a book. A novella? Possibly. But the concept has to do with a young man in search of his sister who disappears in a flash of light right in front of his eyes, and he goes on to investigate evidence of intelligent life on earth long before cavemen. It has potential.

That’s the good news. Unfortunately, the execution left a lot to be desired. From the get-go, I was confused. The story starts at the peak of the girl’s disappearance, with only the girl’s name being mentioned. It’s another page and a half before you see anyone else’s name, and then you realize it’s a dream sequence, and then even though there are two men mentioned, only one is identified.

There’s not enough character development; in other words, I need to care more about the characters. And there is the usual bugaboo of indie publishing: the woeful need for an editor! Grammar and punctuation problems abound.

Not only that, but there are some structural issues. I loved the place where the main character says, “I would do anything to get her back.” Then the woman he’s talking to says, “But would you do anything to get her back?” and he says, “Yes, I’d do anything to get her back.” Reminds me of Monty Python….

I wish J.D. Stonebridge the best, but I think his best road to success is going to involve an editor. Best wishes.

I give this book one and a half stars out of five.