Classes are over. Grades are turned in. My office is actually clean, even.
So why aren’t I working on my novel?
Yes, the idea is to switch from professor to novelist with the advent is summer. And yes, I am eager to get started writing. I even have company for my usual summer endeavors. (Thanks, Jazzmine, Edward, Chelsey and Tiffany for having the courage to keep up with the writing when the whole world conspires against us to have us do other things.)
But I am holding back. This school year has been exceptionally tough. So tough, in fact, that I wasn’t able to be involved with National Novel Writing Month in November, and the novel that I was within six chapters of completing last August still lies dormant. Part of that, of course, is because of my own fear of failure. That’s been an ongoing challenge for me ever since I started writing. The reasoning goes that if I never complete the project, I will never have to deal with failure. Of course, the logical progression of this is that you never get anything done.
But my holding back is only due in a small part to this anxiety. I’ve written here several times before about the mind games that go with writing for publication. One thing I’ve learned is that my creative muse appears a lot more readily if my brain is rested. And that happens when I get my body active and my brain inactive–which is just the opposite of how I spent my school year.
So I am spending the few days before the 30-Day Challenge (see my other post) doing yard work, repairs in the house, and just recharging my mental batteries. And I am spending time thinking about my writing project. Plotting and planning, without actually writing.
I’m priming the pump, guys. And when June 15 comes along, I will be ready to write.