From the Archive: What WOMEN Really Want


Just as I promised, here is the sequel to yesterday’s blog entitled “What MEN really want.” It’s pretty obvious that it’s not much of a stretch for me to think about what I want from women and generalize it to all men. And right after finishing it, I realized half a dozen other things that I could have listed. But because I have limitations (and am generally lazy), I am limiting men’s and women’s wants down to five points.

It’s not quite so obvious why I consider myself an expert on what women want. But cut me some slack, ok? I had a mother that I was very close to, especially when I was born. I grew up in a family with three older sisters. I have an adult daughter. And I have been married for 34 wonderful years (some of them more wonderful than others).

So here goes. Based on my observations over the last half a century, here’s what women really want:

  1. Women really don’t know what they want. Guys, when you become mystified trying to understand the female psyche, here’s why. They can’t honestly tell you what they want because they don’t know. There you have it; mystery solved! But I really won’t do them justice unless I list four more points.
  2. Women want a man with confidence. They are looking for a man who knows what he wants, is focused, and knows how to be positive and yet decisive. Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance, however. Women hate that. Confident men don’t have anything to prove; women love that.
  3. Women want men who will listen to them. Conversation for women is different than for men. Men are goal driven; women are relationship driven. Sometimes (well, pretty much always) they want to talk without having you feel like you have to solve their problems. For them, the process is more important than the solution. I know that’s hard for you guys to grasp, but hey, that’s why we’re guys.
  4. Women want a guy who is excitingand safe. It’s in their nature to want to fix guys. They see themselves as lion tamers. They want the wild lion—to tame. They don’t want to live with it. They want to live with the pussy cat. Or so they think. If you move from point A (lion) to point B (pussy cat) too quickly, the fun—and excitement—for them is gone. And I suspect that they really don’t respect a man who is totally housebroken. Confusing, but that’s a woman for you.
  5. Women want guys who will take care of themsort of. Pretty much every woman has bought into the idea of a Prince Charming who will come and take them away from their mundane lives. At the same time, they want their independence. They want the excitement without the danger—or the drudgery. But don’t we all? The best situation comes when you both can realize that you each need taking care of. He chases away the bats and the snakes from the house, she kisses his forehead when he falls off the ladder while chasing the bats and snakes away. Good arrangement, I think.

So, for better or for worse, there’s my second list. So far, I haven’t heard anyone disagree with me, which sort of frightens me. Either I am dead on, or my readers are just…dead. In either case, let me know what y’all think.

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