An Author’s Conversation with God

Author: Dear God…

God: Glen! Good to hear from you! How are you doing?

Author: Fine. Sorry, it’s been a while. I’ve been busy. I have something to ask you.

God: Of course you do. Why else would you be here?

Author: I need help with my book sales.

God: (pauses) Are you sure you want to say it that way?

Author: What do you mean?

God: Well, if you say you need help, that means you have responsibility for them and I’m just your helper. I work for you. Do you really think that? On the other hand…

Author: Well, if it’s all in your hands I could say, you need to do something about my book sales. But that sounds bad too.

God: (chuckles) Yeah, it does. Kind of sounds like you don’t trust me. Tell me, why are you writing?

Author: You know that. I’m writing for you. You called me to be a writer.

God: No, I didn’t.

Author: What? But…but…

God: I called you to be the You that I created you to be. Tell me, are you happy?

Author: Yeah. Pretty much.

God: Are you able to pay your bills?

Author: Yeah, I guess so.

God: Then what’s the problem?

Author: (frustrated) My last royalty check from Amazon was for 38 cents!

God: So? Someone bought one of your books. You should be proud.

Author: I’ll never get rich that way.

God: No, you won’t. Was that your plan? To get rich?

Author: (sheepish) Not really. But my first few books did so well. My last couple of books are struggling. I can’t even get anyone to write a review.

God: It will come. You believe in them, don’t you?

Author: Yeah. They’re good books.

God: Then have a little faith. In them and in me.

Author: (sighs) Writing is hard sometimes, you know?

God: Yeah, that’s why I had my children write my scripture for me. One good thing came out of all this, you know.

Author: Oh yeah? What’s that?

God: I got you to come see me.

Author: Yeah. Sorry about that.

God: No problem. Try not to be a stranger, okay?